THE BLOOD OF JESUS CLEANSES YOU FROM ALL SIN AND GUILT (1 JOHN 1:7).
JESUS IS THE DELIVERER!!
END-TIME DELIVERANCE MINISTRY
DEMONBUSTER.COM
GENE AND EARLINE MOODY
DELIVERANCE MANUAL
END-TIME DELIVERANCE MINISTRY MAIN PAGE IS AT
http://www.demonbuster.com
NO DEMONS ALLOWED
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. SCRIPTURE
1. Violence Against Women And Repercussions In The Community
2. Suffering
3. Love And Marriage
4. Sin And Accountability
5. Reaching Out To Others In Need
2. IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP BASED ON EQUALITY?
1. Nonviolence
3. DEFINITION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
4. EMOTIONAL ABUSE
5. SEXUAL ABUSE
6. PHYSICAL ABUSE
7. WHY WOMEN SOMETIMES STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
1. At Least Temporarily
8. THE CYCLES OF BATTERING
1. Tension Building
2. Explosion
3. Love
9. SIGNS TO LOOK FOR IN A BATTERING PERSONALITY
10.POWER AND CONTROL BY PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE
11.ASSESSING WHETHER BATTERERS WILL KILL
12.REFERENCES
SCRIPTURE
Violence Against Women And Repercussions In The Community
II Samuel 13
Judges 19
Suffering
I Peter 4:12-19
Jeremiah 29:10-14
Psalm 55
Love And Marriage
Ephesians 5:21-33
I Corinthians 13
I John 4:18
Sin And Accountability
John 7:53-8:11
Ezekiel 18:21-32
Reaching Out To Others In Need
Luke 10:25-37
IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP BASED ON EQUALITY?
(Nonviolence)
Non-Threatening Behavior - Respect - Trust & Support - Honesty & Accountability - Responsible Parenting - Shared Responsibility - Economic Partnership - Negotiation & Fairness.
DEFINITION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Battering is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. Abusers use physical and sexual violence, threats, emotional insults and economic deprivation as a way to dominate their partners and get their way. Relationships in which one partner uses assault and coercion can be found among married and unmarried heterosexuals, lesbians, and gay men.
Battering is behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a woman from doing what she wishes, or forces her to behave in ways that she does not want to. The statistics clearly indicate that battering is too common to be considered an emotional illness.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
How many of these things has your partner done to you: ignored your feelings; ridiculed or insulted women as a group; ridiculed or insulted your most valued beliefs, religion, heritage, or class; withheld approval, appreciation, or affection as a punishment; continually criticized you, called you names, shouted at you; insulted or drove away your friends or family; humiliated you in public or in private; refused to socialize with you; kept you from working, controlled your money, made all decisions; refused to work or share money; took car keys or money away; regularly threatened to leave or told you to leave; threatened to hurt you or your family; punished or deprived the children when he was angry at you; threatened to kidnap the children; abused pets to hurt you; told you about affairs he imagined you were having; or manipulated you with lies and contradictions?
SEXUAL ABUSE
Has your partner done any of these things to you: told anti-women jokes or made demeaning remarks about women; treated women as sex objects; been jealously angry, assuming you would have sex with any available man; insisted you dress in a more sexual way than you wanted; minimized the importance of your feelings about sex; criticized you sexually; insisted on unwanted and uncomfortable touching; withheld sex and affection; called you sexual names like Whore and Frigid; forced you to strip when you didn't want to; publicly showed interest in other women; had affairs with other women after agreeing to a monogamous relationship; forced sex with him or others or forced you to watch others; forced particular unwanted sex acts; forced sex after beating you; forced sex when you were sick or it was a danger to your health; forced sex for the purpose of hurting you with objects or weapons; or committed sadistic sexual acts?
PHYSICAL ABUSE
Has your intimate partner done any of these things to you: pushed you or shoved you; held you to keep you from leaving; slapped or bit you; kicked or chocked you; hit or punched you; thrown objects at you; locked you out of the house; abandoned you in dangerous places; refused to help you when you were sick, injured, or pregnant; subjected you to reckless driving; forced you off the road or kept you from driving; raped you; or threatened or hurt you with a weapon?
WHY WOMEN SOMETIMES STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
(At Least Temporarily)
Why do they stay? It is the question most often asked of battered women's advocates, though it is certainly not the most important question to be asked about domestic violence! We have not way of knowing how many women in this country have left abusive or violent relationships, yet chose not to identify this as their reason for leaving. What we do know is that there are many reasons - for women to stay, at least temporarily, in an abusive relationship.
Fear Of Retaliation - Nowhere To Go - Economic Realities - Children - Isolation - Preservation Of Family - Religious Beliefs - Focus On Day-To-Day Survival - Lack Of Adequate Resources.
THE CYCLES OF BATTERING
The three cycles of battering are tension building, explosion and love. They vary in time and intensity. We cannot predict the length of each cycle. Both situational events and stage of life affect the timing.
Tension Building
Woman can sense man's edginess. Little issues are smoothed over. Woman feels she can and must control the situation. Woman denies her anger. Woman feels she deserves it. In order to cope, she denies that the second stage will occur and believes she has control. Although she is often unaware of it, after each incident her anger grows. He knows his behavior is wrong and fears she will leave him. She reinforces his fear by with drawing herself in order not to set him off. His jealousy and smothering brutality increases. Tension rises. Sometimes the woman knows that Stage 2 must come and provokes and attack in order to get it over with and to have it on her terms. She can then feel she has had some control.
Explosion
In Stage 1 the man accepts that his rage is out of control, but justifies it. In stage 2, he no longer understands his anger. The man doesn't begin wanting to hurt the woman, but to teach her a lesson. A woman can often retell this stage in detail. He cannot. In this stage only, women often feel that it is safe to release their anger and fight back. This is the shortest stage and generally lasts from a few hours to 24 to 48 hours. We do not know why he stops. He seems to know how to prolong the battering without killing her. It is not uncommon for a man to wake the woman up and begin to beat her. A woman will often deny the seriousness of her injuries, sometimes to soothe the batterer and to be assured that Stage 2 is over.
Love
This stage is welcomed by both. The man is sorry and tires to make up. He fears she will leave him. He is charming and manipulative. He believes that he can control himself and will never again hurt the woman he loves. He convinces everyone. The woman wants to believe him and convinces herself. She has a glimpse of her original view of how nice love is. This is a very idealized stage - little girl loved by husband or lover. He plays dependent - he will fail apart without her. She ends up feeling responsible for him as well as for her own victimization. She is given what she wants with overkill: flowers, candy. This stage is generally longer than Stage 2 but shorter than Stage 1. We must teach women not to fall for this.
SIGNS TO LOOK FOR IN A BATTERING PERSONALITY
Many people are interested in ways that they can predict whether they are about to become involved with someone who will be physically abusive. Usually battering occurs between a man and woman, but same-sex battering occurs as well. Below is a list of behaviors that are seen in people who beat their partners; the last four signs listed are battering but many don't realize this is the beginning of physical abuse. If the person has several of the other behaviors (three or more) there is a strong potential for physical violence - the more signs a person has, the more likely that person is a batterer. In some cases, a batterer may have only a couple of behaviors that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g., will try to explain behavior as signs of love and concern, and a partner may be flattered at first). As time goes on, the behaviors become more severe and serve to dominate and control the partner.
Jealousy - Controlling Behavior - Quick Involvement - Unrealistic Expectations - Isolation - Blames Others For Problems - Blames Others For Feelings - Hypersensitivity - Cruelty To Animals Or Children - Playful Use Of Force In Sex - Verbal Abuse - Rigid Sex Roles - Dr. Jekyll And Mr./Ms. Hyde - Past Battering - Threats Of Violence - Breaking Or Striking Objects - Any Force During An Argument.
POWER AND CONTROL BY PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of the other abusive behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of abuse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman's life and circumstances.
Using Intimidation - Emotional Abuse - Isolation - Coercion -Threats - Economic Abuse - Male Privilege - Children. Minimizing - Denying - Blaming.
ASSESSING WHETHER BATTERERS WILL KILL
This is not an exact science, but there is a solid literature base that informs us of some possible predictors of which batterers pose homicide risks. The best listing is excerpted below.
Threats Of Homicide Or Suicide - Fantasies Of Homicide Or suicide - Weapons - Ownership Of The Battered Person - Centrality Of The Partner - Separation Violence - Depression - Access To The Battered Woman And/Or To Family Members - Repeated Outreach To Law Enforcement - Escalation Of Batterer Risk - Hostage Taking.
REFERENCES
When Violence Begins At Home (A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Ending Domestic Abuse) by K.J. Wilson
National Domestic Violence Hotline, Texas Council on Family Violence, Austin, TX
Guidelines for Mental Health Practitioners in Domestic Violence Cases
Project for Victims of Family Violence, Fayetteville, AR
Assessing Whether Batterers Will Kill by Barbara Hart
Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence
The Cycles of Battering by Lenore Walker
Lily of the Valley Ministries, Alexandria, LA